I Screw it up!

I was stunt when I read the sms from Steve, Yeah, I fuk up the coming short vacation  to visit Ysoon and the JB gang in this coming weekend. I knew I always canceled in the middle of discussion while everyone are exciting about the meeting, Yes, I always fuk up, and perhaps I fuk up my relationship too, now is my friendship. I am sure the gang will be disappointed with my decision and angry with me, especially the two good lovely buddies. I knew both of you always been there for me whenever I need a shoulder, but I think I shall stay alone in this few days before departing to our  annual gathering trip to avoid a red face monkey jumping here and there. I am really upset about myself for this cancellation, and perhaps, ask for forgiveness. Sorry... and  the saddest thing is Ysoon is gonna cook for us, this is much of a true friendship and down to earth, I have no ideas what am i doing. Sorry dude, perhaps we will have more fun in Angko Wat, and forget about this short visits which you had expected us.
    Everything seems settle down lately, what else am I looking for? There must be the transition period which caused me mid year crisis, but halo, I am only 25!!!! Am I suffered from hormonal changes???  It could be I am gonna transform into another job scope which influence me to be anxious. Seriously, till now I haven really recover from the previous relationship, and I am gonna hurt anyone if I commit into any now; it's unfair to any individual, which I have to let time heal the sorrow and let go the loving history. Saying is always easier than the action.

The ugliest thing I seen is...human.

I always prefer to put the worst experience I have had before into the positive situation, where I learned in my early life rather than my later life which I might need a strong healthy heart to bear with it. I am really still a fresh bull in the farm which always interrupt by the dark raven across the field. We couldn't stop the ravens making the noise, but we can always choose to ignore, if the raven just wanted to dominate the farm, there are 2 options, shoot it down or walk away. Life always has an option, there is no way of symbiosis situation in the war, human is the ugliest and darkest creature in the world, I do not mean everyone, is just majority of the human. They always wanted to be the glorious winner, ain't you think is tiring? Yes, we could achieve our dreams, but there is no forever winner in ones life, the moment you fall, that will be the time Karma taking place to decide ones destiny. I am glad I met those people now better than my later life, where I still can stand still and defense against the war. I am not a mercy, I dunno how bad will be if a Mr Nice guy turn into an evil after those stressful environment. Anyway, I choose to walk away towards the peace rather than the dark war which I could be happy, the reason of being living in the earth -PEACE & HAPPY-

A beautiful Lyric - Angela Aki~ 手紙: 敬啟者 給十五歲的你

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9Q6PmlXj0Y&feature=player_embedded

Saw this link in friend's FB,  do enjoy the lyrics and the music, the melody is from the old bang '小虎队', although the song is sang in Japanese in this video, it is a meaningful ones if you found you are lost in young age, I am just laughing at myself how silly I were when I was young. Again, I might laughing at myself 10 yrs later how stupid am I today. Life is just about experience, and have fun. No matter how hard is the barrier, just cross it and smile to them, I had just did it...

If today I am 10 yrs later, I will laugh at myself why am I so HOT temper, why am I so stubborn, why am I so silly to listen to someone...there are a lot of silly incidents I will make, but I am not alone, coz everyone have gone through this to make them to be a better man.

Souled-Out & Deutsches Gasthaus & Buddies

Ysoon had called up for gathering few days before he touched down KL, I was excited about it, as I have not seen him after CNY. Again, Steve, whom I didn't seen for ages which I couldn't recall the last met. Of course, Sue is always with me, who I seen everyday...haha. There are only 4 of us, and I miss the rest of other members which we couldn't meet up together. This is why we have an annual gathering trip in Siem Reap 2 weeks later. Sadly to continue that I might not able to join the gathering trip with the rest of other 10 members. It could have due to the change of my job, and the issues of the parent company which refuse to let go even there is a compensation. Well, at least I have that little outing with a few buddies after working hours last week. It's kind of warm and relaxing moment where we can share our own experiences, updating each status and gossiping.. The greatest news are we knew what we want in our life in this age, this is the most significant success in one's life. If we had lost, we will never get into the right direction and there is no end point in our journey. Steve is moving forward to his dream job, Ysoon is achieving his success in the current portfolio, Sue is waiting for the chance, and I am moving to another division which lead me to a greater achievement. I guess this is just part of core direction in our current age.

Well I have to recommend Souled-Out in Mont Kiara is a good place for gathering, and I will not go for dating, as the environment is meant for group chit chatting, and chill out!! So this place shall full of laughs from all friends. We just tried their signature indian cuisine only as I don't really keen to have their Western and Chinese food after tried in the previous visit, and thank god the buddies like it. The night may not end so soon, and there is a second round where we end up at Deutsches Gasthaus in Taman Tun, well I would prefer Sit Pub after long heard of the drought Guinness Stout. There is always a next time, so I will want to suggest this place in the next gathering.

A fact that wake me up

I was waiting....and yet, waiting everyday. Well, for me, waiting is the hardest moment instead of knowing the results. My job required a lot of waiting, and I shall be patience enough to do it, but for now, I rather look at another view while still waiting for the answer and execute for my plan B. After chatting with Linda, yes, she is like a big sister to me, and I had been inspired by her optimism, determinations, and her most powerful words which had emerged into my brain cells which I want to emphasize it here "No matter how bad it is, are you still alive? and this is nothing to do with live and death; why do you want to give such a hard feeling to yourself" Although this is a simple theory, I can't even think about it until she enlighten me. I shall convey my appreciation to you, and I learn for this simple fact. In fact, I am going to execute my plan B and hope to grow myself for a better person.

Saturday Outing

Yesterday was the prayer day for "Master Tiger", Tim is down in KL, then Sam suggested to go for the prayer after we leave from the MATTA Fair, PWTC, Yes, I dunno what happen to the MATTA fair, I knew is this weekend, but when we went there yesterday, the noticed is next weekend. Sigh...Waste of our effort and times despite I am sick and drive under the hot sun. Then Sam, Edmund and myself went off to Petaling Street to wait for Tim after he signed his 1st S&P from OKL, Bravo to him... hehe, owning a new property in his young age. I had seen my favorite salty duck this time, and I highly recommend to this 2 folks, and we bought the half portion..I was so happy, as I tried this 4 yrs ago, just imagine, the food you tasted 4 yrs ago is melting in your mouth again.I just like the flavor, and it tasted better than the Overseas restaurant either. After lunch we walked over to 'Kuan ti Temple' for the prayer, it meant for 'Ta Siao Ren' as if you have someone you felt miserable and threaten in your lifestyle, you can just chase them away in this matter. Well, 4 of us have no one to 'step' and just pray for health, prosperity and of cause happiness as well as better career advancement.

Thinking Positively

There are 2 challenges which I face, Career and Relationship. I can't deny that I am not the worst nor the luckiest person on earth, at least I still have a job and family to care. What else can I demand, well, I am those guy who is very straight forward, and I knew what I want. Perhaps the good news will fall to me in my future career development. Whatever it takes, just turn the lemon into lemonade with our very best.

I met up with 2 respected couples yesterday, they gave me a very deep emotional advices and hope in our community lifestyle, who says PLU couple cannot stay long? In the same time, I knew we got to stand up and support for our very own niche community. I promised myself will go back to be part time volunteer for PT Foundation in my free time, if we do not help our community, WHO will?

In the same time, I had made a new friend last night, which introduced by Edmund. He is a mute, and he is a very cheerful guy and love colorful pictures, yet is a professional in photography, although he lost his abilities, but he always bring happiness to people surrounding him, we shall learn from him despite with all the abilities we have. Dun you?

Leave the past and Welcome the present,

As time past, this is already the 4th month I am single, and 5th months to my new job. I had gone through a very challenging period, and I hope this is the going to an end soon. The healing period is still taking part, as I knew I couldn't fall into another one in the moment, this experience rather help to define myself and I knew myself better. At least I knew what I want in my relationship, and committed is very important to me to my another half, I had learned the past, and I will benefit my future partner with all the good testimony, at least is good isn't it. Um, I did remember I was very tension till I told my mom that I may wants to return to her and stay with her in Penang, but all I knew is, the illustration, which stimulate my thoughts. WaiSoon is right that I am LONELY... Yes I admit, that I AM. This is human nature, who wants to stay and live alone, especially for me, I like friends and family around and everyone are celebrating with each accompany. Dun you think is good.

From today onwards, I have to really stand up and look forward after all the dramatic incidents 4 months ago. Bye bye my past...and welcome the color of life.

When I was having the arguments in the past relationship, I always wanted to be single, now the dream has come true, but I still not happy, something was wrong, and perhaps I will be able to fix it in the next one. To me, single only will make me go wild and comes with a meaningless ending. This is just not my cup of tea.

Back in Actions

It's very long since I abandoned this web, and indeed, I almost forgot I registered a blog here until Clayton sent me a message in FB, which was sometimes ago too, it shows how insensitive I am lately. A lots and lots of things happen to me in these 4 months. For me, it's rather a transition period for my age, and I am trying hard to cope with the changes, and trying not to lose myself, unfortunately I give up partially, and allow my mind to control me. This probably is the worst scenario for one individual who lose direction in his life, and turn into a walking zombie. I knew this not the right solution to allow the mind control ourselves, perhaps I am still learning to stand up as good as what I was 6 months ago.